


I'll Be In The Middle, You Two Get Along

by isoxys



Category: The Locked Tomb Trilogy | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Orgy, Truth or Dare, but more like the emotional leadup to an orgy not the actual orgy, it's a mess, like a character study of why people would have an orgy, orginal lyctors and cavaleirs, sexy parties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:13:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29045157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isoxys/pseuds/isoxys
Summary: The original lyctors and cavaliers play truth or dare at a sexy party.For the tlt kinkmeme prompt:"Original Lyctor's Sexy PartyThat's right, full-blown orgy, go wild"
Relationships: Augustine the First/John Gaius | Necrolord Prime/Mercymorn the First, Cristabel Oct/Mercymorn The First, Cyrus The First/Valancy Trinit, Mercymorn/Cristabel/Augustine clubs romance dynamic, just a big ol' pile of original lyctors, lmao how do you even tag orgies as relationships
Comments: 5
Kudos: 13
Collections: TLT Kink Meme





	I'll Be In The Middle, You Two Get Along

It was 9:48 on a Wednesday night, one-hundred and forty-seven years after The Resurrection, and everyone at Canaan House was getting wine drunk. 

“TRUTH OR DARE! TRUTH OR DARE! TRUTH OR DARE!” Ulysses the Fourth, The Emperor’s Sword, chanted, with his arm thrown around his Cavalier’s shoulders for support. Then, “TRUTH OR DARE! TRUTH OR DARE! TRUTH OR DARE!” chanted Cyrus and Valancy the Third, who were already halfway undressed and sprawled in a tangle of each other’s limbs that was making everyone else sitting on couch uncomfortable. And “TRUTH OR DARE! TRUTH OR DARE! TRUTH OR DARE!” chanted Cassiopeia the Sixth, hiccuping and raising a wobbly glass from under the coffee table. 

Mercymorn the Eighth rolled her eyes. “Oh no. Ulysses, you promised that this would just be a normal dinner party this time, not some kind of...debauched thing.” 

“I’m not quite sure what you expected,” drawled Augustine the Fifth “this is always what happens when drink white wine. Anyways, I think it’s a capital idea, and, since Alfred is off with the Cohort, my better half isn’t here to remind me that it isn’t.” 

Cristabel Oct, Cavalier of the Eight, bounced up and down, jiggling her necromancer’s sleeve. “Come onnnnn Mercy, it’ll be funnnnn!!” Mercy gave her an even more scathing eyeroll than she had given Ulysses. And then Cristabel said “Think of it as a ritual! For bringing us all closer together!!” And Mercymorn collapsed forward into her own hands with a high pitched, pained sound, and then said “Fine, just this one time.” 

“Alright.” said God, The Necrolord Prime, “If Mercymorn’s in, then I don’t see why not.” 

“Excellent!” cheered Cassiopeia, swaying to her feet, and collecting empty cups. “I’m going to make Pina Coladas, does anyone want some?”

“Only if they don’t have one of your fingers in them,” Phyrra griped from the couch, trying to avoid getting kicked by Cyrus and Valancy’s feet. “Be careful with the knife this time?”

“I’m not * hic * that drunk!” Cassiopeia slurred, her voice muffled from the kitchen. 

“Okay, okay, okay” Ulysses muttered, rubbing his hands together. “Let’s see, who’s first….” and then, spinning around, he jabbed a finger. “Augustine!!”

“Dare.” 

“Have a threesome with me and Titania.” 

“Ulysses, you always ask, and no one is ever going to do that. Or, at least, it is way too early in the game.”

“You have to answer a truth then,” Ulysses grinned gleefully. “Which one of the cavaliers...do you most want to fuck??” 

Augustine’s eyes flicked around the room, over Valancy, Titania, and came to linger on Phyrra for a long second. Then he whipped his head around and said “Cristabel.” 

“What??” Mercymorn huffed. “Don’t mind him Mercy, he’s just trying to cover so he doesn’t embarrass himself in front of Phyrra, who he really wants to fuck,” said Cristabel, reassuringly. But she also winked very obviously at Augustine and fluffled out her hair a bit. Phyrra glared at both of them.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” insisted Augustine. “Back me up here, John.”

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of,” said the Lord of the Nine Houses, drinking deeply from his wine glass, “Phyrra Dve is a stone cold fox.” 

Phyrra scoffed, and then said “Damn straight I am.” Cassiopiea came back in with drinks with garish little cocktail umbrellas in them, and handed one to Phyrra and another to Titania. And then Augustine said, icily. “Thanks for your support, John. Truth or dare.” 

“Oh no, I don’t trust that look. Better be...er...Truth.” 

“What do you miss the most from...before the Resurrection?” 

The game had evidently gotten a little bit heated. The Necrolord Prime looked down, something faraway passing over his white-sliver pupils for a second. And then he looked up, and said, dreamily: “I miss pizza rolls. Do you ever think about the fact that, even tens of thousands of years in the future, we will always carry the memory of pizza rolls? We will be the only living beings to remember pizza rolls. I have power enough to destroy a planet, or to heal a star, and yet I will never be able to accomplish what the Tostinos corporation used to accomplish so easily, every day. Perhaps that is what it means to be immortal – to eternally bear the curse of being the only living being to remember pizza rolls. Perhaps that is the solitude of Godhood.” 

Everyone contemplated this for a bit. Phyrra took out a cigarette, and Augustine took out a lighter and gallantly offered to light it for her, and then, presumably to avoid looking like a chump, lit up a cigarette of his own. Phyrra stalked out onto the balcony to smoke. Then God seemed to shake himself from his reverie and called out “Valancy?” - “Dare.” - “Do a shot off of Cyrus’s belly,” and that made everyone forget about the whole thing for a bit. 

“Okay, then…” mused Valancy when she was done, sweeping locks of golden hair behind her ear. “Cristabel!”

“Dareeee!” challenged Cristabel, punching the air above her head, as Mercymorn looked on in horror. 

“Okay, I wanna see you use your nose to trace a line from Mercymorn’s nose to her foot,” smirked Valancy. “I will do this duty with joy!” saluted Cristabel. 

“This is not fair!” wailed Mercymorn, “It wasn’t even my dare! Why do I have to be part of this-” but she hushed as Cristabel leaned in and put their foreheads together, ever so gently pushing Mercy back into her seat, her deep gray eyes staring into Mercymorn’s tightly squinted sandy irises. Cristabel smiled widely at her, and Mercymorn made a small squeak as their lips almost brushed, and then flushed deeply as her cavalier trailed her face across her neck, and down her sternum. Her fingers clenched the edge of the couch cushion violently as Cristabel trailed down to her bellybutton, and she went completely rigid, as Cristabel traced over her hipbone, kneeling now between Mercy’s thighs. John and Augustine, sitting on either side of Mercy, looked on in somewhat startled fascination. She didn’t breathe again until Cristabel had traced all the way down to her heel, and planted a small, reverent kiss on the top of her foot. Ulysses and Cassiopeia whooped. John let out a breath through his teeth. Mercy’s hand groped for Cristabel, who drained her wine glass, slammed it down on the table, and then pointed an accusing finger at Augustine. “Truth or Dare!!”

Augustine brushed back his hair and observed “Everyone’s picking on me today. Dare, I suppose.” 

“Augustine I dare you to...make out with me!!” And she barely finished the sentence before she reached up and grabbed him by his crinkled and undone bowtie and pulled him down into a messy liplock by Mercymorn’s feet. Mercymorn yelped and made a show of pulling her skirt out of the way, but watched the proceedings with a kind of pious fascination. When she pulled away to catch her breath, Cristabel pumped the air with her fist, and declared “Excellently done! And now, you must return this kiss that you have given me to Our Lord, The Emperor as well!” 

“You can’t- That’s an entirely separate dare-!” Mercymorn began to protest, but Augustine simply said “Gladly” and climbed messily across Mercymorn to meet the mouth of The King Undying with his own mouth. As the Emperor reached up to run his hands through Augustine’s hair, their elbows jogged Mercymorn, who made a strangled sound. Even Cyrus and Valancy disentangled themselves and sat up on the couch to watch. 

Out in the hallway, a dark-haried head poked its way around the doorframe. “Oh,” said Anastasia the Ninth, who brushed into the room in a swirl of dark robes, and inkstained fingers. “You’re all up to some sort of depraved thing again.”

“Only a wholesome game of Truth or Dare!” insisted Cassiopeia. 

The Emperor turned his head, extracting his lips a hair’s breadth from Augustine’s. “Come on, take a break from your research, join us!” “Yeah!” Cassiopeia repeated, “you can’t just work all the time! Take a break!”

One of Anastasia’s eyebrows quirked. “Truth...or Dare, My Lord? No...I think I’d only spoil your fun. I merely came in to grab a bit to eat. I’ll be gone in a moment.” She turned, a little stifly, towards the kitchen. 

Augustine extracted himself from the tangle of limbs, until he was sitting mostly on The Emperor’s lap, with his legs dangling across Mercymorn’s knees, muttering “Hmm, what’s her deal?” Mercymorn looked terribly betrayed, but softened a bit when Cristabel clambered up onto the couch next to her, and rubbed the back of her neck, beginning to tease out the shining coil of rose-gold braid at the back of her head. “If you want to go somewhere else, we can call it a night.” “No,” Mercy grumbled, “I’ll stay." "It’s just not fair though,” she repeated, in a slightly more mellow voice, worrying over Cristabel’s thumb and fingertips with both of her own. “I’m not even the one getting dared but I always get caught in the middle of these things!” “She makes a good point,” Cristabel suggested, supportively rubbing Mercymorn’s shoulder. “You ought to let Mercy take a turn.” 

“Sounds fair to me!” declared Cassiopeia, and Mercymorn looked around the room imperiously, before vindictively declaring “Ulysses and Valancy. For the high crime of talking me into yet another horrid sexy party, I dare you to, er, oh I don’t know! Lick each other’s bones! Or something else horrible. Damn you both.” 

“That is not how Truth or Dare works, “ Valancy told her. “You’re supposed to say Truth or Dare, and then I’ve got to pick one.” 

“Oooh! Damn you to hell. Truth or Dare?”

“Truth,” said Valancy, smugly staring Mercymorn down. 

Mercymorn turned to Cristabel, ignoring God and Augustine who had gotten their lips locked again. “I’m never any good at this part of the game at all. What sort of thing do people ask? What terrible sin shall I make them confess to?” Cristabel kissed Mercymorn on the cheek. “How about, ‘Tell us about one of your deep dark fantasies?’ That’s always a good one.” Mercymorn considered this for a second, but, no more cutting words coming to mind, she finally accepted and said “Alright, Valancy, what sort of awful, revolting, things do you fantasize about, as if anyone would even care about the answer to such a question?” 

“You know, “ Valancy mused, “that we’ve never had a proper orgy, with all of us, you know. A real swinging group sex party. It’s got to happen at some point right? Living together, as immortal roommates, we’ve got to get bored enough at some point. I’d like to see that happen.” 

“Blech,” said Mercy, but overall, the necromancers and cavaliers raised a toast to this idea, and the game of Truth or Dare went on. Phyrra and Titania poledanced on a table. Cyrrus broke a wooden spoon smacking Ulysess’s ass. Cassiopeia demonstrated a new theorem she’d been working on for uses of flesh magic that Mercymorn found quite inappropriate. God and Augustine got proceeding more tangled up in each other’s arms and everyone except for Cristabel, Cyrus, and Valancy pretended not to notice. Eventually, when four more bottles of wine were empty, and more buttons were unbuttoned than not, and the clocks had ticked on past 2 am, God got up and announced “Alright, I think I’d better go to bed.”

He got up from the couch and extended an arm to Augustine, helping him up, and looping an arm around his waist. The two of them walked off towards the door, Augustine’s hand playing its way down God’s back, until, all of a sudden, The Emperor of the Nine Houses wheeled around and said, a little sheepishly, but with a mischevious glint “...unless of course anyone wants to join me and Augustine for the orgy, in which case, you can find us in the pool.” 

Those words hung in the air for a long second, as it became apparent that no one was quite sure what to make of this. Then, just as God seemed to be about ready to turn around, and let that stand, Cristabel reached up dreamily and stroked Mercymorn’s cheek, and asked “Do you want to join them?”

Mercymorn caught ahold of Cristabel’s hand and insisted “I think he’s joking.” And then, a little more desperately directed at The Emperor. “You are joking, right, My Lord?” 

The King Undying looked down to the left, and blushed. “I was….” but then “...but if you’re down, I’m down.”

Ulysses cheered.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for the prompt and hope you like it, op! 
> 
> Title is from the dodie song In The Middle


End file.
